Wednesday, October 04, 2006
totally random
because i'm waiting for my math quiz to be made available online in five minutes' time and because i can't do anything productive in the span of that and because i don't want to do nothing at all, i'm writing this short guide to understanding american slang when you don't want people to 1. not comprehend you 2.think you sound juvenile/weird 3.notice the difference and berate you for not adopting american slang and accuse you of affecting immigration policies because you represent the immigrants who do not assimilate (okay so that hasn't happened yet but hey i needed a three!)so here goes:
handphone/mobile phone = cell phone
rubbish bin = trash can
toilet = washroom/bathroom/powder room (if you are in a fancy formal place and want to be snotty)
specs=glasses
that piece of chicken in burgers (we don't even give them a name!) = chicken patty (spongebob! crabby patties!)
postal code = zip code
strange/weird = sketchy
great/wonderful/lovely/amazing/insert all other synonyms = awesome
and when people meet you and ask 'how's it going' or 'how are you', never ever respond with anything negative. no one really wants to know how you're doing, this is the equivalent of saying 'hi!' so you should respond with a perfunctory 'good' and look cheery even if you've five papers to write and you haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep a night and life seems bleak and you would really like to kick the next person who asks you how you are, to which you'll of course respond 'i'm great!'. because that is just how life is.
ray at 2:01 PM
